Today my Pastor told me a humorous story about one time when he was preaching a revival service. Just as he got to the altar call he saw a frog hopping down the aisle. The head Pastor of that church nodded to deacon, Mafia style, to take care of that frog. But instead of just picking it up and throwing it out the back door, the deacon walked all the way down to the front to get a bulletin to shoo the frog away so he wouldn't have to touch it. At this point everyone saw what happened and the moment was ruined.
This got me to thinking about some of my favorite distraction moments that I have experienced or heard about. Let's do this David Letterman top-ten style.
10. I was frustrated when someone walked it the room and started whispering. Turned out they were getting my wife because my son peed his pants. Pastor's kids.
9. My friend had a homosexual girl who would come to his service and sit in the front row just to mess with him, with a shirt on that said "I love [a certain part of the female anatomy]"
8. A guy in South Carolina brought noise canceling headphones to put on when the "contemporary music" was being played.
7. An elderly lady in Tampa would bring a newspaper and open it up in the front row if the Pastor ever started to bore her.
6. Three words: Silent but Deadly
5. While running Easy Worship in the main service I accidentally minimized it and the desktop picture of a guy getting hit in the head with a dodgeball was on display for all to see.
4. At a mega church in Florida a guy came down the aisle to talk to the preacher but he had a knife tucked away in his Bible. His deacons handled the knife guy better than the guy who had to deal with the frog, I promise you that.
3. While using a curriculum purchased from www.youth-sermons.com a youth pastor didn't read the memo about editing out portions of the Karate Kid movie due to some bad language. His Pastor walked in the room as Daniel unloaded on Mr. Miagi... Now that's distracting.
2. While teaching preschool children during chapel, an elderly teacher's aid would always shout out answers to questions obviously intended for children. "Who is God's son." "Jesus... I've know that for 70 years. Ask a tough one!"
1. And my number one distracting moment came during a youth camp I put on. As the speaker was giving his morning lesson a kid turned around and threw up his scrambled eggs. What could I do? I got down on my hands and knees and picked it all up before the smell got too bad. I didn't eat eggs for a year.
What was your most distracting moment?
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